*takes off shirt in front of girl* you like this? i got this pink line from sitting down for a long time. sometimes i get two lines.
what even is the 50 shades movie gonna be just like a theatre full of 40 yr old women eating popcorn and gasping and clutching their chests throughout 2 hours of softcore porn???????? please no
[throws a rock at your window] what’s your wifi password
I JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE TINY DICE??
LITTLE TEENY DICE
ITTY BITTY BABY DICE SO SMALL
When you need a little luck
son oF A BITCH